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Kelly Tyler That's right.
Dave Michaels And fell madly in love with her then.
Kelly Tyler Awwww! (Putting head on him)
Dave Michaels And then went home and watched her video over, and over, and over, and over. (Giggling) And had to come back to get a new video because I wore out the last one. How you doing babe?
Kelly Tyler I'm doing good!
Dave Michaels It's Kelly Tyler everyone!
Kelly Tyler Hi!
Dave Michaels How you been…I love the outfit by the way.
Kelly Tyler Thank you! (Lifting up her skirt to show us her sweet nothings)
Dave Michaels See, most of the times, the 60's fashions, is ehhh, whatever. But on you…it's kicking! Purple works for you. And you're just about ready to fall out of it.
Kelly Tyler I am! That's bad when I'm ready to fall out and I'm this small. (Pointing out her small yet pert breasts)
Dave Michaels Those aren't small those are perfect!
Kelly Tyler Thank you.
Dave Michaels Those are perfect, perfect little boobies. So what have you been up to in this last year?
Kelly Tyler Been doing some work for HBO and signed a contract with Blu Steel Herbal Enhancer. It's awesome.
Dave Michaels That's the booth you're at right now. Is that like a herbal Viagra type thing?
Kelly Tyler Exactly.
Dave Michaels And it works…you've tried it out?
Kelly Tyler It works.
Dave Michaels Makes your dick hard?
Kelly Tyler Makes MY dick hard! (Making a fist by her crotch) No, but I've been with someone that it does.
Dave Michaels I'm supposing it's just a remarkable coincidence that guys are able to get their dicks hard with you.
Kelly Tyler No, it's keeping it hard all night.
Dave Michaels OK, that's the trick to it.
Kelly Tyler That's right.
Dave Michaels Yeah, I saw you in their little promotion video here.
Kelly Tyler Yeah.
Dave Michaels Getting a good workout. Tell me about the HBO stuff, that's really interesting.
Kelly Tyler Kinda doing new videos for HBO. I'd tell you names of them but they've changed.
Dave Michaels (Laughing)
Kelly Tyler But I know they're out there.
Dave Michaels They're like legitimate movies.
Kelly Tyler They're like…
Dave Michaels …soft-core type stuff.
Kelly Tyler Yeah!
Dave Michaels Simulated.
Kelly Tyler Simulated.
Dave Michaels In the simulated sex scenes, can the guy put the penis in you convincingly?
Kelly Tyler Nooooo.
Dave Michaels So just portraying having sex? Or is he just hitting you with a limp noodle back there.
Kelly Tyler Hitting me with a limp noodle.
Dave Michaels Awww.
Kelly Tyler Unless I'm lucky.
Dave Michaels Unless you're lucky. So you basically have to go out and get sex on your own then.
Kelly Tyler Yeah.
Dave Michaels Awww, poor girl. I'm sure that's really difficult for you.
Kelly Tyler So hard.
Dave Michaels Yeah, right! …(Pause) You got my number baby.
Kelly Tyler (Laughing)
Dave Michaels So you doing adult movies still?
Kelly Tyler It's been about 7 months since I've done one.
Dave Michaels Yeah, do you want to go back and do them or you not sure?
Kelly Tyler I will, I've just kinda been holding off.
Dave Michaels Awwww, you're a tease. You throw a few out there and then you don't do them, and then you say, "Awww, I don't know. You guys can maybe talk me into it."
Kelly Tyler That's right.
Dave Michaels Very, very smart. Very business savvy. So when you're not doing all this, what do you do on your free time? What are your hobbies?
Kelly Tyler I don't have hobbies.
Dave Michaels You don't have hobbies?
Kelly Tyler No. I just stay at home…soccer mom.
Dave Michaels You're a soccer mom?
Kelly Tyler Pretty much.
Dave Michaels (Laughing) I just can't picture you as a home body.
Kelly Tyler I am.
Dave Michaels That seems like such a waste. You're gonna be like getting into you late 30's…
Kelly Tyler …I'm getting into my late 30's? That's a while.
Dave Michaels You got a ways to go before you're there. But that's when you're finally gonna say, "I wanna go out".
Kelly Tyler And I'll still go out. Yeah, with you.
Dave Michaels With me? I'll have you. I'll be in my 50's by then.
Kelly Tyler That's OK.
Dave Michaels That will work. So I have something to look forward to.
Kelly Tyler Yeah!
Dave Michaels You ready for the 7 Stupid Questions?
Kelly Tyler All right!
Dave Michaels You did really well last year. Question #1: Would you take Beautiful and Stupid over Intelligent and Ugly?
Kelly Tyler No.
Dave Michaels You would rather take Intelligent and Ugly?
Kelly Tyler Yeah.
Dave Michaels Honestly. Look at me, I want to see if you pupils dilate.
Kelly Tyler (Looking into John's eyes) Honestly.
Dave Michaels They didn't dilate. I have a chance after all.
Kelly Tyler (Laughing)
Dave Michaels Although, I don't know about the intelligent part. OK, Question #2: Why do girls really like horses?
Kelly Tyler Because we get to ride them. (Kelly makes riding motions with her pelvis and all the guys standing around mess their pants)
(She notices her skirt is up and her panties are showing) Ohhhh. (Smiling) That's why.
Dave Michaels It's because of the large throbbing thing between your legs. Gotcha, gotcha. Question #3: Are there things in private, you won't do on camera?
Kelly Tyler Yes.
Dave Michaels Like what?
Kelly Tyler Anal.
Dave Michaels You're still not doing that, huh?
Kelly Tyler Still not. One magazine out there and that's it.
Dave Michaels One magazine, huh. Why not? Saving it for the right man.
Kelly Tyler I keep it at home.
Dave Michaels Awwwright.
Kelly Tyler I have to save some kind of hole don't I?
Dave Michaels Question #4: What's the worst come on line you ever heard?
Kelly Tyler Ohh, I don't know.
Dave Michaels Guys got to be picking up on you all the time.
Kelly Tyler Yeah, but I don't know.
Dave Michaels You don't know. They just come right up and say, "Hey baby!"
Kelly Tyler Yeah, pretty much.
Dave Michaels "I want your phone number." No cinchy come on lines, just straight up to you and ask you. I find that a little hard to believe.
Kelly Tyler It's true.
Dave Michaels Question #5: How much would I have to pay you for a full body massage?
Kelly Tyler How much would YOU have to pay me.
Dave Michaels ME personally.
Kelly Tyler For a full body massage. (Thinking long and hard)
Dave Michaels FULL! Chinese massage parlor style.
Kelly Tyler That depends.
Dave Michaels Yeah. Certain rate with a happy ending and maybe a little bit more…
Kelly Tyler Yeah, that works. (Looking like "whatever John")
Dave Michaels That works. Well, you gotta make sure to throw out that website. I've been to it.
Kelly Tyler Have you?
Dave Michaels Yes I have.
Kelly Tyler It's Kelly Tyler dot com.
Dave Michaels Kelly Tyler dot com, that is correct. Thank you again baby.
Kelly Tyler Thank you.
Dave Michaels The pleasure was mine.
Kelly Tyler (Kisses John and waves goodbye)
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