Roger's Rating:

After the amazing reactions to my last "classic" review, I figured I would follow the lead of some people who said that "800 Fantasy Lane" is really a Golden Age title to watch. The plot for this one is pretty simple and reminds me a lot of those 80's T & A movies I used to sneak around and watch. (Since there is no exact release date on this movie, I'm going to have to guess that it's at least 5 years before my porn watching days. Looking for fun, Jamie Gillis finds out about an LA real estate firm that hires hot women to show expensive properties to high rollers. With his buddy (Bud Wise) in tow, they head to LA, pretending to be oil tycoons and get the full treatment.

As soon as they arrive, the guys know that their plan is a good one. Set up in a huge house, with girls everywhere it's a sure bet that they are going to get laid. Before that happens, they watch a few minutes of lesbian action. (With the fisting cut out from the original release.) Since all the girls living in the place are in real estate, they are more than willing to grease the wheels before showing property. Lisa DeLeeuw is the first to get to Gillis. I saw Lisa in later movies, but this is before she got really huge and she looks quite good. What a set of tits on this redhead. People have asked why I say that Golden Age movies are poorly shot from a sexual standpoint. Lisa's blowjob is a prime example. As she sucks, more than half of the footage is of the top of her head, her shoulder or Gillis' face. The tit fucking is a lot better, so it's not a total loss. Her big tits are perfect for this kind of action and Gillis shoots a load all over them.

Beating Lisa to the punch. Nancy Suiter takes Gillis and Wise out for their first look. A little competition brews and Jamie boots his pal out of the limo. Greedy Jamie likes the first house they see, but has more fun with Nancy and her driver. (What, he couldn't have let Bud bang one of these women?) This time the blowjob is shot alittle better, but how many reaction shots of Jamie do we need? (He's getting his cock sucked by two pretty women, we can assume he's got that goofy blowjob face going.) Using his wits, Wise comes up with a plan to force Gillis to leave the girls so he can get in some of the action as well. He manages to shoot a load all over Nancy's tits and then pretends to fuck some more. (Note that we haven't seen a boy/girl fuck scene yet.)

Dejected, Gillis goes back to the mansion where he finds an interesting dungeon scene going on. He watches the semi-rough girl on girl action for a while, but eventually joins in. (He even singes some pubes off one of the chicks. Ahh, no thanks). There is finally some dick in pussy action, but you can count the footage with a stopwatch during this mess of a scene. To be fair, if you like restraints, misogyny and chicks crying you might bot be as completely bored as I was. It's more interesting to wonder if the people who praise the good old days while blasting today's more "extreme" porn have this kind of shit in mind when they talk about the classics. (A good talking point for future discussions.) As for how this scene is shot, it's got more shots of Jamie's face than anything else and makes me wonder now if Greg Dark was on downers when he learned to edit. Someone needs to slow down a bit with the cuts.

Wise hits the tennis couts with Lisa and two other girls. I wish I could tell you who the other two girls are because they are gorgeous. (45 minutes of net research gave me nothing on these babes.) The topless tennis footage is pretty good especially since Lisa and the prettiest of the three women are so busty. (Whoever this brunette with the big tits is, she is by far the best looking woman in this movie.) Sadly, this doesn't go anywhere. (Another problem I have with classics.) Gillis ends up fucking a whole room full of girls in the bath while Wise nails Desiree Cousteau in the other room.

Here is where a straight forward script takes a turn that makes no fucking sense. Everyone is playing pool and smoking a little pot. The guys end up having these fucked up hallucinations that incude an eight foot penis raining mild down on naked chicks and Gillis playing lion tamer in a sexual circus. He is in a cage with Serena, Lisa and Aubrey Nichols who all have on body make up to represent a pony, leopard and tiger respectively. Interesting role play I suppose and some decent sex, but the out of left field motivation for this scene (Like the dungeon bang) just makes no sense. Lisa looks good, but Aubrey manages to steal most of the sexual thunder in this odd, final scene.

There is a back on target end to this story, which is nice to see. Overall, I found the plot in this classic porn pretty good. It can't quite decide if it's screwball comedy (With Gillis mugging it up ala Jerry Butler is Bad Girls 3) or more experimental. As such, the trip to the dungeon and the animals in the cage scene really didn't fit well. Since the latter is the best sex scene of the movie and probably one of the best of the era, I can forgive the leap into psychedellic sex fantasy-land. Gillis is very good, though as mentioned, he can't decide if he's smooth enought to con the women, or just some hapless joker who is pulling fast one. Either way, he is at least entertaining and the story hold its own. Sexually, this one has some good moments. I'm sure a lot of people consider this a classic because of the fisting (pulled for this release) and the hard-core S&M/rape/pain scene. Nancy Suiter looks good and has a pretty hot three way. Lisa DeLeeuw looks better here than in most of the other movies I have seen her do. Still, it's the big titted beauty from the tennis courts that I really wanted to see get busy. I still say the sex is shot better today, but other than that, this one holds up pretty well.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM

Big Johnson's Rating:

Starring: Jamie Gillis and Nancy Suiter. This is a dirty film from the late seventies, with Gillis as a gas station jockey along with his buddy, who pose as rich oil barons, conning several beautiful gals that they are intrested in buying a house. Now the thing that gets me is that everyone who's seen this film has said that contains rape elements in the film. Maybe I haven't watched it closely enough, but I never actually heard any of the girls say no to Gillis or his pal, in fact, that all look always willing. My favorite scene in this film, is where Gillis titty fucks Lisa DeLeeuw with his big prick, and then the scene in the cage, where the girls are dressed up like tigers, while Gillis is whipping them around, and then it leads it to a raunchy threeway; followed by an earlier scene, where the same girls I believe are giving him head in a office somewhere. Gillis does well as the mad sleaze meister, and Suiter's one hot mama.

The film is definitely dirty. It also does reflect the negative side of human sexuality, but doesn't present any evidence of rape, that I know of, such as some others have mentioned. Still this isn't romantic to say the least.

The film is dirty and sleazy but it is artistic, which you find in modern porn anymore. In the sex scenes, it does sexual cliches, in which you'll find in everyother porn from the era but despite that the dirtiness of the film turns me on.

Jamie Gillis' role as the delusional con artist. His acting holds well and he always delivers.

the fact, that on some websites, someone had described this as a rape movie from the seventies, or maybe I could've mistook for another one of Gillis' roles. However, I still enjoyed the film.

If you're into dirty films of the nature or are a die hard Gillis then it's worth time. If you're looking for an older Vivid film, where the girl in the introduction preaches to you about sex, then check elsewhere.

Posted By Big Johnson, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/12/06 1:58 PM