Roger's Rating:

Everyone needs to fight the urge to joke about this title. Please, help me. No, I can't. It's too easy. Come on. Navy Girls Love Semen? What about the guys? (Insert your favorite Village People joke here.) In the Colossal Navy all of the girls are willing to do whatever it takes to make the missiles shpt-shined and ready to fire.

Lucy Lee is in charge of recruiting for the Colossal Navy. She informs us that it is our duty to give her our cocks. We all know that she is no stranger to convincing cocks to do things her way. When she comes upon a couple of reluctant guys Lucy goes right to work on them with her mouth. She shoves them easily to the back of her throat and sheds her blue uniform to show off those pumped up tits. The guys have a lot of energy and toss her around like a little rag doll. Lucy takes the cock perfectly, but the pace of the scene is so rapid that some of the camerawork is a little shakier than we might like. The guys also don't seem to keep their cocks in her for very long. Maybe it's too hot in there. (Or maybe they have seen the side of Lucy we've seen in some BTS and are running for their lives.) Everyone works up quite a sweat though as they work her tight little pussy from every angle. To finish off their recruitment Lucy takes pops in her mouth, spits them into a glass and then dribbles it all over her body.

Tyla Wynn goes for the white dress uniform for her segment. She explains that the Colossal Navy needs more cock to keep the female members happy. Tyla tries to recruit a couple of stoned slackers. One of them is Alex Sanders and that tells us a whole lot about how the scene is going to go. He makes up for what he lacks by shoving her head down to make her gag. (Yawn.) Tyla is hot, but watching her forced to gag on cock and getting her face covered in spit is so non-sexual that it's boring as shit. She can handle the action really well and her body looks fantastic as she fucks the guys raw. I would probably really love this scene if the first several minutes weren't such a vast sexual wasteland. They shoot in her mouth and she spits it on the glass table. This scene is a sad waste of a very talented girl.

Sharon Wild's uniform barely fits her tall frame, but that just makes her look even better. She uses her thick accent and long legs to land a few choice recruits. Getting between them she works her lips over hard cock faster than you can say “Don't ask don't tell.” Much of the blowjob is shot from low angle which gets off to another bad start. Eventually the camera finds a good spot and for us to enjoy her enthusiastic double blowjob. For some reason we also have to look at some of the action through the spit pooled glass table. Once they get her on the couch she is able to really put them to the test. Sharon loves to fuck and gets slammed really hard from behind. One at both ends suits her just fine. After a very hot fuck we go back to freak show hour as the guys shoot on her mouth and spits it onto the table. Why are so many pornographers following the same lame playbook?

Sativa Rose looks fucking great in any uniform so it is no shock that she fills out the Colossal Navy uniform better than the other girls. As good as she looks in the uni, she looks even better as the two guys take her out of it. With one of the best bodies in all of porn, she has the tools to turn in a great scene. This time the guys don't get in the way. Instead they work their dicks into her mouth and pussy at breakneck speed. When she gets into reverse cowgirl we get a great view of her perfect form. Adding a lot of dirty talk and amazing energy to the mix, Sativa gives us the hottest fuck of the movie. They cap it perfectly with two big loads of cream on her pretty face. More scenes like this and less freak show crap would make for a better flick overall.

Marie Luv is the perfect girl to help recruit. She is cute, enticing and willing to get down on her knees to get the job. Her speech is a little odd though. Did she just say that she was at the low end of the Colossal Navy? If she is one of the low end girls then you can only imagine how hot the girls higher up get. Hot that is, until a blowjob becomes a nose-plugging gag and quack fest. Marie is way too cute to be wasted in a scene like this. Why not just let her suck cock? Her body looks great, her face looks great and I know she can handle the action. This isn't a matter of a girl who can't take it, but rather another non-sexual mess that gets in the way of a hot girl getting fucked by two guys. As hot as Marie is, this ends up being a whole lot less hot than it should be.

This is a great movie if you happen to be into military-themed costume play. It is an average stroke flick overall that could have (and should have) been a lot better than it is. Though there is need to add a layer of side-show non-sex to the great cast, that is exactly what the director has done. The gagging and quacking will probably bring in some people who love this sort of stuff, but it just kind of kills the heat for me. Sativa's scene is the only one that really escapes this additional layer and it is naturally the best of the bunch. She looks great, fucks great and is totally strokeable from start to finish. The other scenes have their moments, but Lucy and Sharon do the best job of rising about the stuff that is going on. Marie and Tyla are two of the hottest girls in the biz, but they are really wasted here. In the end, while I do like this movie I know that I would have liked it a lot more without the pseudo-rough sex personal they try to adopt with it.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM